Where I've Been (Crazy Day Slippers)

Aren't these Stubbs and Wooten slippers perfect for those days where you feel like life is spinning out of control?  The best thing about palm trees is that they sway all over the place but their roots keep them grounded. 

Life's been a little cray cray since I last posted. Over the past three weeks, I've been to two memorial services and spent my first weekend away from my baby.  In addition to that, our nanny was on vacation so I had to navigate the crazy world of finding backup childcare when your child is experiencing stranger anxiety.  I had planned on taking some time off to oversee the transition, but work got totally insane. And by insane I mean the kind of busy where you might decide to go to work even if you had a bad case of food poisoning. 

On the bright side, my daughter taught herself how to walk, turned one, became adjusted to other caregivers and survived for her first birthday party.  And (drum roll please), our first real family vacation starts one week from today.

When my life gets crazy I try hard to simplify.  Meaning I don't do anything beyond resolving the crazy.  Sometimes that's a good strategy but other times it means you don't get to do the things you enjoy that help relieve that stress.  It also means that you put things off that you need or want to do.  That camp care package I put together?  It hasn't been sent yet.  Haven't returned your call (trust me I feel terribly guilty about it). 

Next time this happens I need to remind myself about palm trees and how sometimes keeping up with your routines and hobbies (your foundation) can help you weather the storm. 

How do you stay grounded when your life is feeling like is spinning out of control?

On the Pulse of the Morning (Maya Angelou)

Maya Angelou passed away yesterday.

I remember listening to Maya Angelou read her poem, "On the Pulse of the Morning," during President Clinton's first inauguration. I watched it in Mrs. Levy's American History class. Sure I was interested in the inauguration, but I was also happy to have over an hour to tune-out and finish up some homework.

That was until Maya Angelou woke me up. She read her beautiful poem about America's history. In less then six minutes, Ms. Angelou rocked my world. I thought about that poem for days and that weekend I found my way to Books and Books where I bought a copy of I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings.

Thank you Ms. Angelou, for inspiring my teenage soul, for writing great books, for making great poetry, and for leading an amazing life.

Godspeed. 

Happy Birthday to Me (The Best Birthday Gifts!)

 

This weekend we drove up to New England for my husband's college reunion.  It was our first extended road trip as a family of three, and I would say it was a success. 

 

My birthday also fell on the long weekend.  Since we were travelling we decided to hold off on any big celebrations until we returned from our trip.   

 

The Drama Free Friendship Manifesto



Cartoon by Gemma Correll

Have you seen THIS blog post from Renegade Mothering.  I must say it is quite a complicated manifesto for the simple message it is trying to convey:  cut your friends some slack because we all flake out.

So here's my friendship mantra:

The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. We all have our own struggles and I trust that we all do the best with what we have.  Sometimes life gets in the way. Don't worry about it, because I know we will both be there for each other when it really counts. I'm committed to cutting you some slack.  Hopefully you can do the same for me. 

Do you have words that you live by?  How have your friendships changed in recent years?

Urban Family Dwelling

Did you see this article in the New York Times about increasing family sizes in New York City?  The trend is mostly related to dual income families in the upper tax brackets.  Families that a few years ago might have gone to the suburbs after the second child was born. 

There is a lot to this article.  The idea that a third child is viewed as a status symbol.  The fact that people with the means are choosing the convenience of living in the city over having more space and perhaps better schools in the suburbs. 

I don't live in Manhattan but I do live in the fairly urban city of Washington.  My husband and I have decided that we want to live in an urban area that is walking distance to the metro.  We like walking around our neighborhood and we like the freedom of being able to get to other places relatively quickly. 

One of the mothers interviewed in the article mentioned that staying in Manhattan allowed her to maintain her career.  This is something that I also thought about when we were deciding where to live after I learned I was pregnant.  I really felt that if we moved too far away from Washington, the commute would make working and mothering all the more complicated. 

I  feel fortunate we could make this decision because I like living close to work.  I can make a quick trip home in the middle of the day if my daughter is sick or if I want to go with her to story-time during my lunch hour.  The trade-off is that we live in a smaller space, pay higher taxes, and schooling is a little bit up in the air.  But for us these trade-offs are worth it. One wonders about those who can't afford to stay in the city and have to commute hours to and from work in addition to caring for their families. 

What factors did you consider when you were deciding where to live after you had children?

If a Tree Falls in the Woods (On Losing My Facebook Account)

I took this really cute photo of my daughter in a Bucky Badger hat and a red sweatsuit.  She was cheering the Wisconsin Badgers onto victory against the American University Eagles.  The Badgers won!  You probably know about the victory but chances are you don't know about the adorable photo because I no longer have access to my Facebook account. 

Facebook deactivated my account on March 18.  On that morning I tried to log into my account and a message popped up that it had been deactivated for violating Facebook's terms of service.  Since then, I have tried to contact Facebook repeatedly.  In spite of my attempts to contact Facebook, I still don't have my access to my account and I still don't know why my account was disabled.

Losing my Facebook account has been a bit of an existential crisis for me.  For the past six years www.Facebook.com/karolina (yes I was able to snag a wonderful URL) was the place where I interacted with friends, family, and colleagues.   It was where I announced my move to Washington, my engagement, and the birth of my daughter.  It is also the place where I put up carefully curated photos of family gatherings, my wedding, and most recently my daughter's first year. I've lost access to all my contacts and to these photographs.  At one fell swoop I lost the equivalent of my Rolodex, my most treasured photos, my email address, my telephone line, and my hard drive. 

So if your Facebook Account is deactivated, does anyone notice?  I can't create a status update to say, "Annoying day Facebook disabled my account."  I could tell the few friends I still google chat with or text, but my Facebook acquaintances probably just think I gave Facebook up for Lent.  Hopefully Facebook will come to it senses and give me my account back before then. 

A friend of mine from college (AKA my college boyfriend's roommate) went through a different but still aggravating Facebook problem and wrote about it HERE.  He's actually a paid writing professional (writer) so you will probably enjoy reading about his woes more than mine.

Have you lost your Facebook Account? If so, how did you get it back?

Stocking In (The Image Search for the Pregnant Job-Seeker)

A relatable stock image from Getty Images

So I totally missed THIS story when it came out.  Thank you Cup of Jo for bringing it to my attention.

Sheryl Sandberg and Getty Images teamed up to create a collection of of thousands of stock images that portray women and girls in a more current and empowering light. We all know what stock images are even if we don't use that term to describe them. They are the images you use in your PowerPoint presentation or your low-budget website when you want to show things like coworkers sitting at a table or a confident business woman. Let's face it, most of these images are sterile and convey no sense of reality.

This collaboration is much more than a victory for all of us who have to sit through PowerPoint presentations.   It is a radical step because it is going to change the images we all use and view, images that show us how to be and how to live.